Is there Life after Unemployment: Anything is Possible

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Chances are you’re one of the millions of people who have been affected by the deepest recession in our countries history. Maybe you lost your job months or even years ago, and now you’ve lost your motivation. It’s easy to feel victimized by a world where it appears you have no control and naturally fall into a spiritual depression. If this sounds like you; I have some ideas, a few brain flashes for your consideration.
No Mistakes in Life
Brain flash #1, there are no mistakes in life. If you lost your job or your business, it’s not your fault, your bosses fault, the President’s fault…it’s not anyone’s fault. Consider that you’ve needed some rest and reflection for quite a while and that this was just the perfect time and opportunity to take it. I am not saying that there weren’t many events leading to the recession, all I am saying is that what’s most important is who it affected. Many of the people who lost in our country are traditionally the ones who hold the values and stability for our country by working consistently. When you have a job that eats up 40-80 hours of your week, there’s really not a lot left in there for you to relax, ponder, and re-create your life so that you may dial up the happiness factor. By removing the element of blame, you are able to focus on life outside of the job you’ve had and ask yourself a few questions. Do you even like your job? The people you work with? Yourself? All very important questions when happiness is a consideration.
Consider Your Job Loss an Upgrade
Brain flash #2, what if your job loss was actually a new job in the making? People who go through abrupt or enduring transitions in life experience spiritual depression. Spiritually speaking, depression is an opportunity to naturally reflect on yourself and your life. Spiritual depression reveals to you spiritual, cultural, and ancestral patterns that may be affecting how you perceive yourself, your business, and your life. Whether or not the pursuit of happiness or joy in life is even a factor for you. What you “deserve” is a huge buzz word in the self-help business, it doesn’t really speak to what you deserve so much as what you will have or not have. Nobody deserves to have their life fall apart because they lost their job, what they get however, is a complete do over card and the time to evaluate and pursue happiness in addition to stability and prosperity. You cannot truly prosper without happiness.
Create a New Schedule
Brain flash #3, working a nine to five requires a consistent schedule that often people losing their job let go of or rebel against when their job goes away. Consider that while you have a new found freedom, your job loss has entered you into a new world of entrepreneurship, yes that’s right, you now work for yourself and your job is to conjure up new streams of revenue. Your new schedule may include things like; time to sleep, working through childhood issues, participating with your spouse or children in a new way, taking a few weeks to be angry (which is actually the process of letting go of how things were and accepting how they are), taking a personal inventory of what you like about yourself and what you don’t, and answering the question, What makes me happy? Finally, the most important evaluation of all; over your lifetime, what are the top five things you’ve done with your spare time?
Anything is Possible
Brain flash #4, I find that what people choose to do in their spare time is what they love and enjoy the most. Folks in mid-life can have upwards of 20 years’ experience doing those things…that is actually expert status. How can you use your well known expertise to make money? Let’s say you drank a lot of beer in your spare time, well micro-breweries have been the fad for the last decade and may just be a nice fit for you…considering you don’t have issues with addiction. If in fact you’ve been self-medicating since you lost your job or because you didn’t like it in the first place, that takes the priority. The addiction cycle is your creative cycle; if it’s being used up with beer drinking it doesn’t leave space for actual thought innovation. It is the process of working through uncomfortable emotions, sober, that elevates our hearts and brains to a new level of creativity and possibilities that may not otherwise be considered.
If you can’t see it, you can’t be it<a
Brain flash #5, take care of yourself; paying attention to your needs and fulfilling them is paramount to getting a new job. I found a lot of folks who lost their jobs during the recession eventually just lost interest in working at all. It is the same syndrome that affects people trying to go back to work after a vacation. Once you’ve had time to spend paying attention to yourself it can be quite a weight to go back into a poor work dynamic. Know that unconsciously, you won’t truly let yourself go back into a situation that makes you feel bad and not acknowledging that leads to; making excuses, getting sick, apathy, or self- medication. If that sounds like you, make a list of the top five things you need because you’re human and then list the top five things you need in your new work environment. Doing this energetically creates a new career blue print for you to follow and the Universe to provide.
In the process of re-creation it is honesty that beats out positivity any day of the week. Being honest with yourself about yourself and your situation is where you begin. Once you have a firm acceptance of things as they are, then you can feel free to dream a little. What would you do with that million dollars if you had it? Allowing yourself to be imaginative takes you out of the box you live in and stretches you into new possible realities. You can begin the journey to positivity by asking yourself the question, How can I do that (what you’re dreaming of) today? Letting yourself engage in a little hope will change your perception of all things… and that’s positive. Right?

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Does apologizing make you weak?

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A lot of folks feel that love means never having to say you’re sorry or that somehow if you apologize, you are less then or weakened in some way. That’s not exactly my philosophy. I think apologies are good. They do two things; they offer an acknowledgement of what someone else is experiencing and offer an opportunity for people to come together in receptivity and understanding.

I am sorry you’re reading this.
I have a friend who doesn’t believe in apologizing and having a regular conversation about mundane things can often be quite frustrating, let alone trying to resolve any sort of conflict. What does that have to do with apologizing, you ask? Well, apologies show flexibility and a form of comfort with learning new things. My friends demeanor could be blamed on quite a few character traits that he has but all of them lead back to the tools he uses to protect himself from experiencing any sort of vulnerability that could lead to any pain or hurt. That’s when it occurred to me that apologies are really like draw bridges between people. An apology can lower the bridge to receptivity so that real connection and communication can begin. It’s one thing to be listened to but an entirely different thing to be heard. Apologizing isn’t about being wrong about something, it’s about your willingness to acknowledge and accept someone else’s perspective and not judge them for it. My friend’s lack of flexibility costs him many relationships, I suspect.

I’d rather be sorry then solo.
The most important and final aspect of apologies that deserves some attention is self awareness. I find many people who don’t believe in apologizing also don’t have much awareness of their impact on others. Even the most considerate person can do something to hurt someone in some way. Even though you can’t control how someone will respond to or feel about your actions; you can control yourself. Part of self control requires some modicum of empathy of your impact on others. Any form of apology will create a space for that empathy to connect, but an apology alone won’t do it. Resolving conflict also requires respect, kindness, patience, and communication. The willingness to allow all parties to be heard and accepted will pave the way for a plan of resolution to be revealed no matter what the circumstance; and it can all start with being sorry.

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How to Get Your Power Back

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How do you lose your power?
Everyone, at some point in their lives will go through a personal crisis, and what I mean by crisis can be anything from some form of mental, emotional, physical, or spiritual trauma to a period of enduring low or high grade stress. The human body, mind, and spirit must process this change of internal atmosphere in some way, whatever way the human will allow. If the stress is left unexpressed, disease is the ultimate result. So, the goal is to recognize the signs of trauma or enduring stress and recognize the process of diminishing energy that leads to the loss of personal power. Before we get started, let me just plant these seeds in your garden. Any condition can be reversed with right action over time. When you stop the stress you begin the healing. Stress is our conflicted response to our situation, and even though we may not be able to change our situation, we can definitely overcome our response. One last little thing, even when you don’t feel it, you have limitless power at your disposal.

What does it mean to lose your strength?
I know that some of you out there may relate your loss of energy and inspiration to simple aging, however, how we age is directly connected to the way we deal with our stress overtime and when you’re young the aches and pains that you experience can be signs of stress. The energy generating and processing systems in your body; you’re adrenals and central nervous systems are directly impacted by your energy and emotion. Let’s take for example, a child who grows up in foster care from the age of two, naturally growing up with distrust and a low expectation of loyalty. Now, what kind of impact do daily thoughts of disappointment, confusion, and betrayal in any form have on that child over time? Keep in mind that for this child these thoughts are a part of their natural internal landscape. Every time they experience a little loss or disappointment the brain, central nervous system, and adrenals are re calibrated to overcome and move through those feelings to stay functional and this could happen fifty times a day or more. Over time, without intervention, these systems in the body get overworked and this person gets sick, sad, tired, or mentally imbalanced and doesn’t even know that there is opportunity to not feel that way as the feelings are as natural as breathing.

How do you know when you’ve lost it?
Lack of empathy, apathy, and lethargy are three of the tell tale signs. You are unable to empathize with others and just stop caring about all the things that brought you currency and joy in your life. When you hit this marker, you’ve been on the decline for a while. Spiritually and mentally you may have some thoughts, ideas, and beliefs that must change. The good thing about getting tired is you begin to pay a little more conscious attention to the things you think and say to yourself every day in your internal dialogue. The next level is the physical decline, physical depression and fatigue with daily chronic dilemmas. When you consistently wake up and feel; fat, ugly, sick, tired, angry, frustrated but just don’t give a @#$%! Welcome…you have arrived. Adrenal fatigue is one of the most common ailments that acknowledge all of these symptoms. In Adrenal Fatigue: The 21st Century Stress Syndrome, James L. Wilson PhD writes, “One person may withstand a stress quite easily and be ready for more, but another person, or that same person at another time, may find the same stress overwhelming and impossible to bear. It is important to understand that the onset and continuation of adrenal fatigue has great individual variation.”
The really good news is that there is great purpose in the decline. It completely sets you up to acknowledge yourself on deeper levels to achieve deeper healing. When you recognize the decline you then have access to everything that has contributed to it. Now you have found the path to freedom.

How Does this Impact Your Relationship?
Naturally, even folks that have the most tuned in and connected relationship can suffer from “Mis communicationism”…yes, I made up that word and it means acute miscommunication on deep spiritual and emotional subliminal levels. You can’t always identify the thing that crept up on you, and if you are a person with a consistently positive outlook on life, you may have just trained yourself right out of recognizing the signs. So, remember these things. 1. Ask questions before you take anything personally and react. 2. If you sense something is amiss with your partner, ask them how they are feeling and listen intently, knowing that it is not your job to fix it. 3. If you are the one feeling the loss of energy, say that. Don’t expect your partner to notice and inquire. 4. Consider that apathy and lethargy make us less likely to engage and to your partner, it may feel to them like you don’t care. Being mindful of this can help you to speak your affection even though it may not be coming with the expected blast of emotional love they are used to.

How to Get It Back
Now that you recognize the signs, your first goal is to stop the bleeding. Look at the people, places, and things in your life that cause you conflict and stress and make different choices. If you cannot change the situation, you must change yourself in it. Whatever you do, don’t consider that everyone else is the problem and want them to change. Evaluate how you feel and what you can change in yourself and what you cannot, doing that will make obvious what choices and changes that you need to make to reduce your stress. Now that you’ve stopped the energy loss you can begin to rebuild. Remember that you didn’t arrive here overnight. Enlist the spirit of patience in yourself and shift your expectations to little daily wins. You are processing something spiritually deep and abiding and with your patience it will eventually reveal itself so that it can be resolved. Taking care of your body through diet and supplements is imperative. Your body in a diminished capacity needs all the nutrients that you can give it, but most of all the priority is to stop the bad habits; drinking, smoking, fatty foods, sugary foods, and low to no activity. This is where you start. Next, educate yourself: Adrenal Fatigue: The 21st Century Stress Syndrome, by James L. Wilson PhD, is a great book to begin with. Finally, begin generating energy by practicing mindful meditation and hand yoga (Mudras). These are two ways to help release mental stress and begin to generate physical energy without a lot of effort. You are a valuable child of the creator, you are loved, you are important, and you are powerful.

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Food=Attitude

Fruits and vegetables
Today in my morning prayers, I was contemplating the struggle that so many people have with depression and negative thinking. It’s not surprising with all of the violence and nonsense going on right now in the world. All the daily insults to our psyche from the news, it takes an effort to find a little bit of happy place. Although, that isn’t the subject of this blog, it’s about the connection between food and emotional balance.
It is normal in times of emotional upheaval to crave comforting fatty foods. Eating them, makes you feel grounded and happy for about five minutes until you feel dissatisfied again; that diet in just a matter of days diminishes the immune system and deeply affects the brain and the chemicals that your brain produces to feel happy and at peace. Fat isn’t the only consideration. Nonfat foods are the worst for you. Immune building nutrition is paramount, and most of your fast food restaurant food doesn’t have much of it. If you like the burgers and fries, remember that fried and grilled foods are filled with carcinogens that are like little super ninjas in your body fighting your immune system.
I know this isn’t MEGA BREAKING NEWS; in fact I am certain you’ve heard it over and over again. Spirit just wanted to remind you. Remember that anger, sadness, and apathy make you crave fatty foods, and fatty foods make you feel tired, sluggish, and depressed. It truly is a vicious cycle. Finally, for the ending thought. Know that when you are making substantial diet changes, that your mind, body, and spirit will resist at first. You may get sick, emotional, and have incessant running thoughts of your favorite fast food restaurant. DO NOT DRINK the Kool-Aid! The first 3 days are crucial: drink lots of water, get some exercise, eat lots of protein, vegetables, and a little grain. No matter what, don’t give up.

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It’s Only Twitter

It's Only Twitter

It’s Just Twitter
I’ve noticed that there is quite a bit of dissent about a campaign that a bunch of famous American musicians/ actors (at least I think they are all American) did showing their support for the 250+ girls that were stolen by a terrorist group in Nigeria. The campaign says #Real Men Don’t Buy Girls. I was startled to see folks slamming it. Really, why would you want to thwart any effort at moving the situation as it stands now? The girls haven’t been found and truly, it is because of the international outrage that the Nigerian government and other countries are joining forces to save the girls and say no to ignorance and terrorism. Which is good.
First of all, let me give you my definition of ignorance. It is not the absence of information or truth, it is the sitting aside of that information/truth to put a focus on the information that best serves the individual in their need, understanding, or agenda. It is true that a person can only see as far as their needs will allow. We are definitely living in a time where it is less a time for patriotism and more a time for humanism. One of my funny Facebook peeps had the best sentiment. Just wait till we have a galactic event, then it will be easier for people to accept the human race and our interconnectedness as human beings no matter our patriotic pursuits. That, however, is a topic for another blog.
I thought I would take this opportunity to focus on the benefit and understanding of a mass emotional sentiment on a spiritual level and its impact on us.
Mass energetic support of an idea will change the outcome.
When a bunch of people feel the same way about something it does one of two things. It either, creates support for and is in alignment with the universal truth or it is at odds with it. A lot of folks think that mass thinking is dangerous but in fact, over time, it forces the universal truth to come out and eventually helps those out of alignment with it, to assimilate the change of ideas to one that includes everyone. Why it feels so dangerous is that until the universal truth is integrated there often is great conflict. As with this conflict in Nigeria, the opposition to the terrorist’s position that they will change mass sentiment with intimidation has clearly been defined by the power of the global masses. It will put these men in conflict with themselves because there sentiment is not in alignment with universal truth. Their conflict will continue until there is a change in the balance of power which is inevitable. In other words, delusional men, and people who separate themselves from others align with the weakness of the small instead of the power of the great. They will inevitably be assimilated.
Ignoramuses are moved easily.
The interesting thing about single minded ignorant people is that they are incredibly vulnerable on energetic and spiritual levels. I think that folks may have responded to the nature of the message #Real Men Don’t Buy Girls, as being juvenile, and it is, but perfectly appropriate. These dudes took a bunch of young girls out of their ridiculous belief in the importance and power of their manhood. Our power and connection to the universe comes from the heart not the genitals. What happens when you attack their manhood is it will connect to them, whether or not they ever see twitter there are millions of people in alignment with each other questioning their manhood. Their intellect is not being questioned as they are not using it. If they were, we could question it and connect that way. Energetically or emotionally, when you directly oppose a person or groups idea of themselves it naturally puts them on the defense and in conflict with themselves. It moves them from their position of comfort and stability in their beliefs into a connection with the universal truth and if their position is not in alignment with the whole, they will be weakened. It is in that transition and new position that they are vulnerable to change. #RealMenDon’tBuyGirls #Bringbackourgirls #Bringbackourdaughters
Terrorism can be stopped when people refuse to be terrorized.
Don’t get me wrong. If you have ever been victimized in any way, then you know what a beast it is to overcome the illusion of someone’s power over you. Every moment before then… they do, in fact, have power over you…but when you recognize that you give your authority to others or you don’t, you experience the most amazing feeling of personal power and internal freedom. It is in that moment that you truly align with the power of the great and let go of the weakness of the small. Now, before you get your panties ruffled, I am purely speaking a concept that is truthful spiritually. I am not saying that if you have been victimized that it is in any way your fault. What I am saying is that you have power whether or not you know it, feel it, or believe it…all the way to superhero status. I believe it can take lifetimes of experience for a soul to learn to stand up in faith and in the face of perishable odds to learn how to truly be powerful and not separate itself from others, but it is inevitable. #evolution #love #bringbackourgirls

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Super Hero in My Mind

Super Hero in My Mind

It’s Just My Imagination
I have always had an “active” imagination. Anything I have ever done, I have spent hours on it in my mind first. It would appear that my personality dictate that I am impetuous and impulsive, but in fact I am not. The countless hours of daydreaming, now called visioning as I am a mature professional. Really it’s just daydreaming; sorting out every detail of an action and its consequences, or every word in a conversation to fully recognize my full meaning and intention so as to own every ripple I make. Daydreaming has even been the way I stay prepared for the world that I live in; picturing myself cleaning my house, dancing without care, and even warding off evil with complete and unequivocal success. It has also been the way I am able to tolerate witnessing for someone some of the most unimaginable sufferings that this world has to offer. My inner crime fighter is a combination of “Storm”, “Wonder woman”, and Bruce Lee. I always loved the way Wonder Woman stopped a speeding bullet, or Storm changed the entire environment with a little focus and arm swinging. Somehow I have always seen that as possible. Obviously, imagining having a better life is not necessarily a new theme but a recent trip and fall triggered a reflection on how many times my meanderings of the mind have prepared me to be safe, sane, courageous, physically adept, and joyful in the physical world.
Stop Drop and Roll, in My Mind
The other day, as I walked down the street to meet a friend at the local café, I tripped. Plunging forward somehow I caught myself, and kept walking. The trip made me realize that I forgot something at home, so I turned back. This time, in the exact same spot, I tripped again. This time I was going down. While on the way down, yes in that split second, I thought to myself…”I will not be hurt by this”. My shoulder automatically turned in and I tucked and rolled. If there had been a little more momentum I would have landed on my feet again. There I lay in the middle of the sidewalk in a little ball, without even a scratch, laughing. I easily got up, and surprisingly nothing hurt. As I walked to the café my heart swelled with joy. You see, I spend a lot of time wondering what I would do if I had to get out of the way of a speeding car, escape from a burning building, or fend off an attacker. So, I often visualize the dive and roll or the round house to the jaw. I imagine that my legs are strong and my form is impeccable. Of course, I don’t spend all day on these things but several times a day I catch myself in little 30 second snippets of what I would do if… I always visualize the answer, and that day I had proof that it is not time wasted.
Hip Hop in My Mind
I love to dance. I went to NYC and dancing was to be a part of my repertoire. I quickly learned that I was more of a choreographer than a dancer, and I definitely was not an athlete. I always held so much emotion in my gut that always found a way to come pouring out. That’s workable for yoga class, but definitely not ballet or even jazz. The thing that I got from dance was moving with the flow of the universe, bending, weaving, and being a conduit for universal life force. Thinking in this way brought to me an ultra awareness of the subtle influx of change and how to move with it instead of against it. To move towards the steps I could do, and do them well. Always seeing myself becoming good at the things I wasn’t good at just yet. Hip Hop dance was just blooming at the time and I was awful at it. You really need great balance to be good at Hip Hop, and imbalance is my specialty. However, in my mind, I am amazing. I can even do flip’s, get up with one leg, NO hands, and the ole slide and spin. I always feel invigorated after a 30 second Hip Hop session in my mind.
Now that brings me to the real world application. I was at the doctor’s office one morning, and walking out the door just before me was a lady who was clearly on her last appointment before the baby came. Her husband was about 20 feet away talking to the desk people when I opened the door for her and motioned her to go before me. She smiled and softly said thank you. Something was not right in her voice. Without thinking about it, my body began to drop to one knee about the same time that I realized that she was going to pass out. It was only a few seconds before I had the full weight of her sitting on the impromptu chair I had created with my knee. Her husband noticed at the point her head fell back on my shoulder. She was out. He and the nurse came running over and we shared an awkward glance, as if to say, “Is this your pregnant wife on my lap?” She came too; they got her some juice and helped her to a real chair. The husband said, “Thanks.” I said, “No problem” and walked out the door and moved on with the day. As I laughed to my car, I thought…”I really love Hip Hop.”
Bruce Lee in My Mind
I had a poster of Bruce Lee in my room literally all my child hood. I always felt a special connection to him and to the martial arts. The concept of using an opponent’s energy against them, or summoning and directing universal chi always resonated with me. However, like I said, I am only an athlete in my mind. So when I took those six months of Jiu Jitsu, it was a bit of a struggle. Sparring just for the sake of sparring did not make sense to me. My Kung Fu was definitely magical like the old Chinese martial arts movies. Flying through the air for a triple running kick… now how could that possibly help me in my future? Well, I found that warding off evil began with making some personal decisions. 1.) Deciding you’re not going to be a victim. 2.) Deciding that you will not be around violence or that violence cannot be within or around you. 3.)Knowing that Universal life force flows through you and aligning with it.
One dark Sunday evening walking down an old cobblestone street on the lower east side of NYC, I saw these two gentlemen walking on the other side of the street, they were eyeing me and I knew they weren’t gentlemen at all. Even though it was early the street was vacant and quiet. I had to cross to their side of the street to get to the train so just as they passed, I crossed diagonally to end up behind them on the same sidewalk. Just as I stepped into the street, so did they. They were causing me to directly confront them. Knowing that the meeting was inevitable, I said, in my mind, “I will not have this. Whatever this is, I will not have it.” Just as we crossed paths in the center of the street, the taller gentleman began to take something from the inside of his jacket, just as his armed raised up to come down on me…I raised two fingers to him…and said, “Uh Uh.” He and his friend were so befuddled by this that he mimicked me, in a fairly high tone for a man, he said, “Uh uh, and sort of waived his hands in confusion. I just kept going and did not look back. When I got to the next block I broke down in tears and cried and laughed all the way home. As it turns out, the two fingered Mudra (hand yoga) that I unknowingly used, means protection. It certainly was that night.
Day Dreaming: More than it’s Cracked Up to Be
Watching the evening news can be tumultuous, for some. Just getting through the day without worry in this sometimes desperate place that we all share is a feat. So, I recommend, once a day in your quiet time; answer just one of those…”What would I do if…?” And since it is your vision, it can only end well for everyone. You never know when it will come in handy.

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